The Chickens Come Home (to Roost)

OK everybody. Al and Miles want us to change the names of our last two episodes.

I thought we were supposed to be in control of that.

Technically we are but they could conceivably make life difficult for us.

They already make life difficult. I don't want to change the names.

They think if we don't change the name their Smallville legacy will somehow be diminished.

Legacy? What legacy?

Let's not get into that.

We haven't heard a peep all year and now they want us to change it? What gives?

They finally figured out it was short for "light switch".

Took them long enough.

It's funny. I think we should keep it.

Al and Miles don't get funny.

I'm not opposed to changing the names as long as the new names are good.

They have a suggestion.

I don't even want to hear it.

It might not be that bad. What is it?

Secrets and Lies.

That's... terrible.

Secrets and Lies? [Looks around] OK where's the hidden camera? If I spot Ashton Kuscher I'm going to punch your lights out Tom.

You're not being Punk'd.

It's not any worse than Switch.

If Al and Miles wanted to be tongue and cheek maybe, but I think they're serious.

They are. They want more focus on secrets in part one and more focus on Lies in part two.

I hope you told them to fuck off. [Silence]

You did tell them that, didn't you? [Silence]

Tom? You're kidding me.

It's just a stupid episode title. Most people probably don't even know what they are. It's not like it's ever on screen.

That's the other thing. Seems Al has gotten into Heroes.

Oh, no.

He kind of likes how they show the episode title at the beginning.

That's easy to fix. Tell him it's to comic booky.

That would probably work.

I could give it a try. He also wants to give Chloe a super power.

What? Where does that come from?

The guy watches a few episodes of Heroes and he goes of the deep end.

No kidding. The next thing you know Lex is going to be abducting people "with abilities" all around the world and tracking them.

Actually...

Tom, you're not serious.

Just keep an open mind.

Dammit, Allison, why did you think it was a good idea to bring those guys back?

Would you rather we steal from Heroes, a show actually about people with super powers or some sci-fi retread? Wait, don't answer. We were just treated to a sterling example with Hoe.

I like sci-fi retreads.

So there are your assignments. Allison and Erica need to work on focusing their episodes more on secrets and Michael and I will be focusing on the lies.

Shouldn't you focus on secrets and they focus on lies?

Secrets always come first.

Let's not get into a chicken or egg...

No, it's because the secrets are always most important.

This is bullshit.

Could we make it a little less pedestrian?

What do you mean?

I don't know. Maybe go with Conspiracy and Deception?

Not bad. I prefer Screw and Off, though.

You know we could always just not do it.

I like that option.

Girls.

Maybe just throw in one line about secrets.

Exactly. But completely out of context.

Even better.

Girls...

I'm with them, Tom. The last thing we need is another season finale focusing on lies.

And secrets.

That's the prior episode...

Shut up, you know what I mean.

Here's my idea. We tell them we've done exactly what they've asked. When they ask to see the scripts we tell them all the changes are secret. And then when it's too late for them to do anything about it we confess that we lied!

[giggle snort] Perfect!

That's not funny.

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