Interlude

Original TwoP air date 7.3.2006

[A small get together at his house. 80's music plays in the background. His cell rings and he notices it's TW. He excuses himself] Hey, why aren't you're here yet?

[TW is in the writer's room. AM is in the background marking up scripts.] Allison and I are having trouble ironing out a few minor details for our script.

You're still working? Ditch her and get your ass down here right now, the party's already started. Let her finish up the damn script.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

What do you mean?

[Steals a glance at AM to see if she's listening] She wants to stick in a scene where Lex gets pulled into a girls' night.

You mean like pillow fights and shit?

Worse. Lana is going to drag Lex along with her, Lois and Chloe to some Chick flick.

Egad.

I know.

Lex definitely wouldn't do that.

I know.

So what's the problem?

She thinks it will be cute.

Dammit Tom. What the hell are we going to do when two of the girls have an episode all to themselves?

I know!

Well we have to nip this in the bud. Hand me over to Allison!

[To AM] Michael would like a word.

[Disapproving look at TW] I thought we were going to leave him out of it? [Takes the phone] Yes?

There is absolutely no way Lex is going to go see a chick flick.

Come on Micheal, it will be cute and funny.

Why can't it be Clark?

With Clark it'd just be pathetic. After a birthday party with his mom, his mom's assistant, and his krypto-hag it's just cruel to do something like that to him. Lex is what makes it funny. Lex Luthor future super villain at a chick flick with Lois and Lana? How can you not see the comedic potential?

So you admit it's cruel to do this! Besides, Smallville is not a comedy!

Maybe it should be a comedy! Besides this will humanize Lex a little.

By "Humanize" I think you mean "Feminize". Look, it's not going to happen.

If it will make it easier for you we can turn the whole experience into a disaster.

How can it not be a disaster?

We'll have Lex on the phone doing business for a third of the time...

Allison, I'm not going to agree to this...

The other third of the time Lex and Lois can bicker...

No. It's not going to happen...

And then Lex will leave in disgust before the movie is even over.

I don't care. It's not going to happen.

You know Micheal, I didn't want to have to do this but you've left me no choice.

You always have a choice Allison.

Either we go with the scenario I just laid our or Lex loses it when the mother dies of cancer.

[Short pause, then a bit of dread] What?

When the movie mom dies of cancer Lex turns on the waterworks.

You can't do that. This is bullshit!

What's it going to be Micheal?

Oh, no.

Micheal?

No, no no!

I'm waiting.

Dammit, put Tom back on the line.

[Smiles] I thought so. [Hangs up. Turns to Tom] He's cool with it.

[surprised] Really?

Yeah, but can we wrap this up fast? I've got to get out of here. [meanwhile...]

[Yelling at his guests] Alright everybody out! [Guests give him a looks of confusion. When no one moves he raises his voice further] I said get the hell out! I've got to make a trip to the office.

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