Act II

A SV hiatus looms near which can only mean one thing... the dreaded return of Castville!

Previously on Castville Al & Mile's obsessive micro-management lead to a full scale mutiny and the cast quit. With their options running out our intrepid producers must figure out how to make things right again.

So did you do it?

Yeah. I tracked down everybody.

And?

Good news and bad news. A few of them I think we'll have a hard time convincing to come back. A couple should be shoo-ins.

OK. Let's start with the bad news. Who's going to be the hardest to woo?

Definitely Glover.

Oh, no. What's he got?

He really out did himself. He's with the traveling rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oh Crap. Pontius Pilot, right?

Actually he's playing Jesus.

Christ! You're kidding me!

No. To rave reviews I might add. The critics think he brings a delicious ambiguity to the role. He has the Moral Majority all up in arms.

Isn't John a bit old to play Jesus?

I guess a little stage makeup and lots of time at the gym can do wonders.

I bet he's got Allison on board with him so there's no way we can get her back.

Actually Allison is one of our bright spots. John pulled some strings so she's lined up to take over the part of Mary Magdalene. But that's only when the current star's pregnancy really starts to show.

So she's unemployed?

No. Here's the best part. To make ends meet she's taken up a gig as Kristen Bell's stunt double!

You're kidding me!

No, I'm serious. And Veronica Mars has Sting guest starring as an English professor Veronica has an affair with.

Allison didn't have to kiss Sting did she?

No. But get this, once she finally met him I hear she was practically mesmerized. Kristen gets to kiss him and Allison is stuck rolling around in the dirt with Sting's sweaty body double. Michael says it's obvious she has a huge crush Sting but won't admit it.

How does Michael know all this?

He's the big baddie on the show this year. He's grown his hair out and apparently having a blast. So far they've written it so that his character is always one step ahead of Veronica. His ego has blown up so big it's painful to be in the same room with him.

So getting him back is out.

Not necessarily. There is one rub. This other character they introduced to be a sort of mentor to Veronica is his character's arch nemesis. She's this college senior who started her own underground newspaper when she got fed up with the administration censoring her editorials. She knows everything about everyone and constantly holds Michael's character at bay.

Why does he have a problem with that?

She's played by Erica. I think he's having a hard time disassociating her from Lois.

Both Erica and Michael are on Veronica Mars?

Yep. And Allison is a stunt double.

Well obviously we'll never get Erica to quit that gig.

She doesn't get to show much skin.

I guess there's a little hope. How about Kristen?

Kristen, yeah. That will be a tough one too. Her old co-worker got her a recurring part on Supernatural.

Jenson?

Yeah. She plays his character's girlfriend.

Surprise, surprise.

But get this, she's been possessed by a sixteenth century witch who's sworn a oath to kill is entire bloodline.

That sounds eerily familiar.

The sad part is that apparently they've actually been able to get the storyline to work.

Damn show offs.

Then there's Annette. She's probably the happiest of anyone.

Really? What's she doing?

She's the new reigning female champ on WWF Smackdown.

Are you serious?

Absolutely. Apparently she's really into it. I've heard the other girls are absolutely terrified of her.

Holy Mackerel. And Tom?

I think Tom's our best bet. He shaved his head for a "Son of Kojack" pilot but it never got picked up.

And people think we have bad ideas.

That's what I said.

I think you're right, Tom and Allison are our best bets. It's a good thing they have a lot of sway with the rest of the cast. Let's talk to them and see if they can't set us up a meeting with everybody.

Will do.

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