Prelude to Fallen

While we wait for Michael I had an alternate idea for our next episode. Instead of making it this heavy, angst filled depressing glob of bile and self loathing why don't we lighten things up a bit?

The title says it all. "Fallen." You just can't turn that into fun.

You could turn it into slapstick comedy.

That would be fun.

I'm thinking romantic fun, you know, as in "fallen" in love.

You've got to be kidding.

We could model the episode after a Three Stooges movie. Lana, Chloe, and Lois could be Larry, Curly, and Moe.

But who's who?

Lana would be Moe, obviously.

Chloe would have to be Larry.

Nuk. Nuk. Nuk. I'm not shaving my head!

No. No. No. I was thinking that Clark stumbles on this mystical object which causes him to fall in love with the next person he sees.

Or people he sees. And it just makes humans goofy.

Like stoogies.

No!

So Clark is running around trying to make-out with any of the three girls.

While they fend him off in typical haphazard Three Stooges manner.

Lana and Chloe usually want to kiss Clark.

Lana and Chloe are dating someone else and Lois just doesn't like him.

This has great comic potential! For instance imagine Lois thinks she's convinced Clark to sit in the other room and "wait" for her to "slip into something more comfortable" and she turns around to find he's super sped in front of her.

I'm not sure about this.

Don't worry. The girls are mind whammied they aren't going to remember any of it. And I think it'll be fun poking them in the eye.

Not to mention knocking their heads together.

[Evil smile] Oh, yeah.

Do we get to use those goofy sound effects?

I don't see why not.

No!

Seriously, girls, the Three Stooges? Is that what you want to do to this show?

Come on, Tom. It will be fun.

Nuk. Nuk. Nuk. Serwiouswy, Tom. Serwiouswy!

No! I wanted a straight up mind whammie episode where Chloe gets to kiss Clark!

You already had your annual kiss. Suck it. Here's what I'm thinking. A scene were Lana is showering and Clark comes in and his heat vision accidentally goes off and starts a fire.

Excellent. Chloe tries to get Clark out of the room while Lana and Lois bumble at putting the fire out.

The fire burns the Talon to the ground! Can we get clearance for that?

We cannot burn down the Talon!

Why not? It's not like Lex doesn't have the money to rebuild it.

What about the Planet? Maybe they could burn down the Daily Planet building.

No!

Or at least flood it.

How are they going to flood the Planet building?

We aren't going to flood the Planet!

Oh, I've got it! What if Clark blows it down!

Clark's going to blow down the Planet building?

Or the Talon. You know, after he accidentally sets it on fire.

It'd have to be the Talon because there's not going to be a shower at the Planet.

Good catch, Annette. We need to keep it realistic.

Chloe isn't having any luck getting rid of Clark and Lois and Lana are just making the fire worse and Clark tells them to get out of the way. He'll put the fire out. Then he uses his super breath.

And the girls get caught up in it and wind up on top of a water tower or windmill or something.

No! [Irritated look at TW] Tom, back me up here!

I'm not really picturing it.

I like the windmill idea. Each of the girls are stuck on a different piece of it and while they rotate they bicker at each other as the screen fades to black.

That is a terrible idea! It's all terrible.

Yours wasn't any better.

[Enters] Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?

Only the worst idea I've ever heard!

Certainly it couldn't be that bad. Especially if you don't like it.

It's not good.

They want the three girls running around like complete mind whammied idiots wreaking havoc everywhere they go.

Sounds interesting.

Michael, it's stupid.

Since everyone but Allison and Tom likes it we need your vote or we can't do it.

I see. I love it when I have the power.

You scare me when you have the power.

[To TW] We're doomed.

[To AM] Don't be so sure.

Does this plot happen to involve Lex in a hot tub with one or more of the the girls gone wild?

No!

[To AM] Told you.

But it does involve Lana in the shower.

[Not impressed.] Been there and done that.

And Lois getting all wet trying to put out a fire.

Seen that one too.

And... um... and.. um...

I've got to say so far I'm less than impressed.

... and Chloe kissing Lois! AM & ED: What?!?!

OK. Maybe not.

Yes or no?

No. Definitely no.

You don't like the idea anyway, Allison. It's not your call.

Erica?

Definitely no. But maybe Chloe and Lana... KK & AM: What!?!?

Well you started it!

I saw Michael losing interest and I panicked.

That's the best you've got? I think I'm going to have to throw my hat in with Tom and Allison.

[Pumping her fist] Yes!

Rosenbaum. I have three words for you.

There's not need to be rude...

Nuk. Nuk. Nuk.

Nuk? Nuk? Nuk? As in Lary, Curly, and Moe nuk, nuk, nuk?

Yes.

Oh, God.

[Big smile] Are you serious?

Serwiouswy, Mike, Serwiouswy.

I am so in with you guys! Who gets to shave their head?

Erica!

I'm not...

Oh, that's great! Look I've got some great tips on scalp care for you!

I'm not...

Stuff I wished I'd learned years ago.

But...

This is going to be the greatest episode ever! [AM moves to leave]

[To AM] Where are you going?

To learn as much about copyright infringement as I possibly can. We have to shut this down!

Maybe Al and Miles...

Don't you dare talk to them, Tom! If you do you'll have Larry, Curly, and Moe sitting in a hot tub together before you can say Nuk. Nuk. Nuk.

Good luck, Larry.

Shut up.

[Once AM is gone]

Well I hope you're happy!

I am. Thanks, Tom.

I owed you.

[Clears her throat]

And thanks to you too Erica and Kristen.

You mean you're not really going to channel the Three Stooges after all?

Are you kidding?

We don't get to burn down the Talon?

Now that we might still be able to do.

I don't get it. Why get Allison's feathers all in a ruffle if you're not going to do the episode that way?

[Just looks at AoT]

Never mind.

Actually there is a valid reason. It means John and I can finally polish off Fallen without her nosing in our business.

And Bridges.

Right. And even more importantly it means my and Kristen's work on Bridges is free to fly under her radar.

Now hold on. You didn't mention that!

Simple oversight.

You're not still planning on ripping off Battlestar Galactica are you?

You make it sound so dirty.

That's because the draft Allison showed me was dirty!

Just stay out of it, Tom. OK?

Allison deserves to know if...

What Allison doesn't know won't hurt her.

But...

Look. Michael and John are writing the next episode. Michael and I are writing the one after that. If you know what's good for Clark you'll keep your mouth shut!

Why that's... that's blackmail!

You're damn right it's blackmail.

But... Allison already knows what you're up to. You're already on her radar.

Which is exactly why we need to distract her with something like this.

By the time she's able to put the brakes on the non-existent Three Stooges spoof it will be too late to meddle with Bridges.

You two are pretty impressive!

They are, aren't they?

[Evil grin] Why thank you.

Erica, you're not going to sit there and let them get away with this, are you?

Not unless she wants Lois to turn out looking like a ignorant unethical hack.

I'm going to keep my mouth shut. You should do that same.

I'm taking this up with Al and Miles!

Be my guest. Tell them I said [sexy voice] Hi.

Oh, no you don't! Don't you dare play that card!

[feigned innocent] What card?

Damn she's good.

So good she's downright scary.

What did Allison ever do to you? And what happened to the Kristen that used to not care what happened on this show?

Tom, she made me beg Al and Miles to come back.

[grimacing] Oh.

God. I feel like I need a shower all of a sudden.

That's unforgivable.

If you ask me she deserves her own special place in hell.

[glaring] Don't think for a second I don't know you were in on it too Glover!

What?!? Heh. It was all for the best, right?

I've got my eye on you.

[Gulps] [Tense silence]

You know, I should probably get back to my trailer.

Yeah, me too.

Good idea!

I hope you all are proud of yourselves! [AoT, ED, TW, and JG leave. KK notices MR wiping some sweat from his brow]

Are you feeling OK, Michael?

Who me? Yeah, of course.

You look a little sick.

I, uh, I'm fine. [pause] So, uh, how did you find out John was in on Allison's plan?

I have my sources.

[Wiping his brow again] Wow. Shocker, huh?

Allison and John have always been close. I'm not surprised. The thing is all the evidence points to at least one other culprit. Somebody who worked from the inside.

Um.. really?

And when I figure out which one of them it was... there's going to be some serious payback.

I wouldn't judge too harshly...

Don't get soft on me now, Michael. Whoever it was is going to get what's coming to them. And that's a promise.

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