A crack in the armor

[MR's trailer. He plays Wii while talking into his headset]

No. I didn't see it coming either.

Well they're smarter than they look. That's for sure.

No. Not at all. It doesn't change anything. We have them right where we want them. Trust me.

I agree. If she goes over to their side it's all over.

[Irritated] Well I'm doing my best! The thing is she's so unpredictable. I never know how's she's going to react. The littlest thing can just set her off! But maybe you already know that.

I have a couple of things in place.

What makes you think I'd do anything to screw it up? It's me!

Real funny! I have it completely under control. [Someone beats on MR's door.]

Hold on a second, will you? [Takes his head set off] Yeah, come in. [KK enters]

Is it true?

What?

That you've added a Menage-a-trios scene for cylon Lana, cylon Chloe, and Lex?

Now let's not jump to any conclusions.

John showed me the script!

Dammit!

[Holds up her hand, index finger and thumb almost touching] I am this close to bailing out of our little agreement!

See here's the thing...

[Tapping her foot, arms folded] The thing? Please explain "the thing."

Of course I'd prefer it be Chloe and Lois because while I'm personally a huge Chloiser...

Honestly, Michael, it's not a ship.

Let me finish. While I'm personally a huge Chloiser they are cousins after all. I think that, you know, Chloe and Lois, you know, sharing the same... it might be hard for the audience to swallow.

Michael, Lex and Chloe are brother and sister! You have no problem with them macking away at each other.

Well that's different.

Different? How?

[sighs] They're only half siblings. Chloe and Lois are full blood relatives.

That has to be the most idiotic reasoning I've ever heard. I can't believe I even thought about taking up sides with you!

If they were half cousins then...

[On her way out the door] That's it Michael. I'm done. I don't care if I have to do another season or not. Al and Miles, even at their worst, weren't as bad as you.

Al and Miles? Kristen, you cut me to the quick!

Sometimes the truth hurts, Rosenbaum! [She exits]

[picks up the headset] I assume you two heard that.

What am I going to do now? What do you think? Damage control!

Whoa, whoa, hold your horses. You need to trust me on this.

I know what I'm doing! I have everything under control. Mark my words once I put the charm on Kristen is going to be like putty in my hands. [Hangs up and runs to his door and opens it.]

[Shouting] Hey Kristen! It was all Brannon's idea. Honest. Look, I'm sorry! Maybe we can turn Lori into a cylon instead! [MR dodges a flying piece of fruit]

Hey, come on! Can't we talk about this like two rational adults? [dodges a flying sandwich]

[Offscreen] Hey! I was going to eat that! [Another piece of fruit narrowly misses MR.]

[Getting back into his trailer and yelling from behind the protection of his door.] Maybe we can talk this over once you've calmed down a little bit? [Something thumps against the door.]

Please? [A moment of silence. MR opens his door and looks out.]

[Offscreen] Kristen, please take anything but the... [Kristen nails MR in the face with a piece of Boston Creme pie.]

... Boston creme pie. Dammit! That pie is actually... [MR closes his door again and eats some of the creme off his face.]

Mmm. Not bad. [shrugs] She'll be in a better mood in an hour or so. [He grabs a towel and wipes off his face. This he sits back down to his Wii without a concern in the world.]

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