6.16 Choice

By &

When tragedy strikes Lex must decide who to save, Lana or his father. Clark is suspicious when an old friend shows keen interest in Chloe.

Start with flyover shot of Lex's party making slow progress through the jungle.

The shot continues until it reaches the temple.

Drop down as if we're going through the ceiling. There's a room with an orate box.

But we don't stop there. Keep going down to the next level and stop with a view of the ship.

After some tense music cut to Lionel speaking with Larry King.

Yes! I love it when I'm in the teaser!

King is trying to figure out why Lionel has suddenly reversed his position on Lex.

He claims it was just a big misunderstanding.

OK. So what's he up to?

Pull back to reveal Lois sitting next to him. She seems very pleased with herself.

Larry tries to pin her down on her thoughts about Lex.

But she avoids making any statements about her own personal opinions. She only talks about how Lionel has retracted all his previous statements.

King is skeptical. He asks if there is any quid pro quo between the two of them.

Lionel denies it outright.

Lois is silent. Larry continues to press her.

Eventually she states unequivocally, "The only thing I've offered Lionel is a means to re-connect with his own son."

And Lionel smooth as silk adds, "And for that I am truly grateful."

Cut to the green room. Lionel tells Lois that her performance was quite impressive.

"As was yours."

"Then, my dear, it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain."

Lois hands Lionel a piece of paper which he opens and reads. "I still don't know why you couldn't get it on your own. Surely you still have enough contacts left in LuthorCorp to figure out where you own son is?"

"Lex knows who's likely to still be loyal to me. He has them all on a tight leash. You however..."

"What?"

"Have something they don't."

"Which would be?"

A killer rack?

"The trust of Lex's better half. Don't squander it." Lionel folds up the paper and puts it into a jacket pocket. "Thank you, Lois."

Lois exits. Lionel reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a crystal from the fortress. To himself, "Thank you very much." End teaser

Return to Clark and Chloe walking down the DP stairs. She tells him that he'll never guess who dropped by to check on her.

Clark conceeds.

About this walking down the stairs thing, is that supposed to be symbolic? They're always doing it.

Symbolic of what?

Clark being up on Mt. Olympus or something and coming down to visit Chloe.

Maybe Chloe's stuck in the underworld.

Or maybe it's because Tom is a foot and a half taller than me and when we walk down the stairs together we can both actually fit in the frame.

Eh. Could be. So anyway, who dropped by to see Chloe?

Principal Asskick.

Asskick? Wasn't it going to be someone attracted to her!

Asskick could be attracted to her.

of the appropriate age!

Heh, well you forgot to check who was writing the episode.

Ick. Tom, I thought we were going to acknowledge the fact that Chloe is sexually attractive.

Asskick being attracted to her acknowledges that.

Besides a swanky billionaire is drooling all over her. What the hell do you want? A parade?

She's gone so long without any recognition it's her due! And someone under forty for once!

Unfortunately her due had a head on collision with a great plot twist and her due was creamed.

I swear, if this "old friend" turns out to be one of your silly robots.

Naked exploding women robots.

If so you are so dead!

It's not. It's even better.

[turns her attention to TW] Tom?

It is, seriously.

[Skeptical] I'm listening.

Clark wants to know why he dropped by.

She says he just wanted to see how she was doing and isn't it great that he's so interested in former students.

Clark tentatively agrees. He mentions a couple of months ago Asskick asked him about a paper he wrote five years ago.

Chloe thinks more educators need to be like Asskick.

"Maybe." He asks if Asskick had anything else to say.

"He asked if I still had the same taste for the paranormal."

Concerned. "What did you say?"

"I told him I don't have much time for it now that I'm working at the Planet."

"That's all?"

"He asked if the two of us still hang out together."

"And?"

"And I said we see each other all the time. We shook hands and he left. Clark, what's wrong?"

"I have a bad feeling about this, Chloe."

"Why?"

"After I bumped into principal Reynolds I dropped by the school to thank him for his advice."

"But he quit right after we graduated. You didn't know that?"

"No. So I asked them for his latest address."

"OK, so far I'm not detecting anything qualifying for wall of weird."

"No one else has heard from him since. He didn't even leave a forwarding address. It's like he dropped off the face of the Earth. Don't you think it's strange we're the only two people he's had contact with in two years?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Clark. I could Google him right now and tell you exactly where he's been."

Clark has to go but he asks Chloe to check on Asskick and get back to him.

Joking, "So you have some hot date to go to?"

Clark is silent for a moment. "Lori wanted to take me to the maritime museum."

"You're really starting to like her, aren't you?"

Clark basically says Lori doesn't pry.

Masking the fact that she's offended, "Meaning?"

"Just that I'm comfortable around her."

"And you aren't comfortable around me?"

Clark tries to backpedal.

"Don't you think it's a little fishy?"

"What?"

"That she's not curious about who you are?"

"No. It's not fishy at all. It refreshing." Clark begins to leave.

Slightly irritated, "Have fun while I'm here Googling for you."

On his way out the door, "Thanks Chloe."

With Clark gone her irritation really shows, "Whatever." She picks up her phone an dials. While waiting for someone to answer she searches for Principal Reynolds. She finally gets through and asks to leave a message for Mr. Queen. "Tell Oliver that I've reconsidered. I'll go to the ball with him after all."

Cut to a dorm hallway. Clark walks to his room. Another student says "Hey, Clark."

Clark smiles and nods. He puts his hand on the door. It's locked. With super strength he forces the knob open.

Switch to a view from inside. Clark enters and closes the door. He takes an unhurried look around the room and then morphs into Principal Asskick.

It is one of the robots you liar!

That's naked exploding women robots and no it's not. If it was it certainly wouldn't turn into principal Asskick.

It'd be a naked exploding woman?

A naked woman. We'd save the exploding part for later.

So it's another copy of Fine? I thought Clark destroyed them all.

No. If it was Fine it'd turn back into Fine.

Well then who the hell is it?

It's principal Asskick. The same principal Asskick we all know and love.

You gave him meteor powers?

No. Be patient and you'll find out soon enough.

Commercial Break!

A shot of a helicopter flying over a jungle. The helicopter passes over the temple. Lionel jumps out of the plane.

That was fast.

This is the show where people can commute from Smallville to Metropolis. But I have another problem. Why are these artifacts always hidden in some temple?

Why not?

Wouldn't they be better hidden in say some old couple's attic or basement?

The damn things might show up on Ebay!

Isn't that how Lana ended up with the spell book?

So you want Lex to acquire the weapon on Ebay now?

It would be easier on the budget. It's not like on location shots are cheap.

There is no way in hell Lex is going to buy the weapon off Ebay. That's just stupid.

Not much stupider than hiding the things in a temple. Couldn't Brainiac bury it in the ground or dump it in the ocean? Or better yet chuck it out to the moon.

I like all those ideas. They'd be fun on site locations too.

So how exactly are we going to get an eye witness account of an object on the moon?

Well maybe not the moon. But undersea or buried could still work.

If we do another season we'll hide the ancient Kryptonian plot contrivance in a hole in the ground, OK?

OK.

What about in a volcano?

Oh, that's good too! Or how about in a government warehouse like Raiders of the Lost Ark!

Maybe next year, girls, maybe next year.

Lori and Clark are having some ice-cream together.

Clark makes a crack about this being so much better than raw fish.

Lori informs him that lots of people enjoy sushi.

Aren't mermen supposed to be vegetarian?

Lori isn't a Disney mermaid, Annette.

I thought Aquaman was vegetarian too.

He's not a merman. He's Atlantean. Capiche?

A cocky jock approaches and asks "Loosy Lori" hows she's doing.

Her mood instantly changes and she tries to pull Clark along with her out of the ice cream shop.

Clark, gentleman that he is, wants to intervene on Lori's behalf.

But she begs Clark to let it go.

The jock continues to taunt her on the way out of the store and one of his friends join in. Clark asks her "What was that all about."

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Lori. It's obviously not nothing."

"Look, Clark, I just don't want to talk about it. OK?"

Hurt because she's not willing to share, "OK."

"I'm ready to go home."

Lois sits across from a man in a lab coat. "Look. We've been burned on this level 33.1 business before. I'm just trying to find out everything I need to know so we don't get blindsided by some upstart reporter."

The scientist doesn't seem to be taking Lois very seriously. "Does Mr. Luthor know you're trolling around for classified information?"

"Lex wants me to do my job. And the more information I have upfront the better I can fend off uncomfortable questions."

"So he wouldn't be upset to hear you've been interrogating all his top scientists, taking up their precious time with irritating questions?"

Unfazed, "You can tell him anything you like. My office is right down the hall from his. If you have something to say about it I could deliver the message personally."

A smile, "I'm afraid I've nothing to share with you, Ms. Lane. The project never existed. And if it did it has been completely shut down."

"Everyone knows it existed. It was all over the papers and Lex wasn't the least bit happy about it. Now if you would just..."

The scientist's cell phone rings. He checks the display which reads "Daily Planet". He looks at Lois, "Surely you don't believe everything you read in the paper, Ms. Lane. Now if you would excuse me, I have more important business to attend to."

"If the press find evidence Level 33.1 still exists it could be very detrimental to our stock price. Especially if we're caught with our pants down. I would hate to tell Lex you were responsible for negatively impacting his net worth."

Curtly, "I said good day, Miss Lane."

Lois nods. As she leaves, "It's your pink slip."

Ignoring her threat he answers his phone, "Yes?"

"Dr. O'Toole, it's Chloe Sullivan with the Daily Planet."

You named a baddie after me? How sweet!

"I've been expecting your call."

"So is it true? Level 33.1 is still in operation?"

"Yes. It absolutely is and I have all the documentation needed to prove it."

"As the project lead aren't you afraid Lex will figure out you're my source?"

"Let me worry about Mr. Luthor, Ms. Sullivan. I'll make sure the documents can't be traced back to me. You worry about getting the story printed."

Cut to Lois right outside Dr. O'Toole's office listening through the door she didn't completely close.

Wow. I wonder where this is headed.

Sounds like they're trying to get everyone alienated from Chloe.

Sounds like you're getting a little paranoid.

Being a Luthor can do that to you.

Outside Lori's dorm room. She stops, "Well, here we are."

"I had a good time."

Hesitant, "Me too."

Clark goes in for a kiss.

But Lori turns away.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Sure." But she's obviously melancholy. She opens her door and goes in not leaving enough room for Clark to follow. She turns around and leaves the door open only a few inches.

"Is this about the guy at the ice cream shop?"

Clearly upset, "I'll see you later, Clark." She shuts the door softly.

And while it really should be there...

I refused to let Tom have Clark use his super hearing to eavesdrop on Lori crying.

Clark pulls out his cell phone. It shows that he has one voice mail message.

Cut to Lex and Lana. Lex hears the helicopter and scrambles for a nearby rock face. He climbs up in time to see the helicopter fly overhead. He pulls out his binoculars and focuses on the top of the temple. As he scans to the right he sees a parachute stuck in the trees. He puts down the binoculars with a look of grave concern. He curses under his breath and then shouts, "Double time people!"

The jungle. Lionel cuts himself loose of the parachute and walks up to the temple. He pulls out a flashlight and walks inside.

Cobwebs are everywhere. He walks through a couple of empty rooms. It appears the temple was looted years ago and has been left abandoned.

It's the Lana temple!

Finally he comes to a huge room holding the ship. He stops and admires it for a few seconds.

Fondling the frictionless surface.

Stop it, you guys.

Finally he reaches into his pocket and fishes out the crystal.

And fondles it.

I said cut it out!

He carefully inspects the skin of the ship. Every once in a while he touches the crystal to it, anxionsly awaiting the ecstacy when the crystal finally penetratrates the ship.

Dorm hallway. Clark talks on his cell.

Chloe tells Clark his hunch was right. Asskick has been "MIA" for the past two years.

"Thanks. If you see him be careful."

"Thank you, captain obvious."

"See what else you can dig up."

"No can do. I have a mystery level to expose."

"Chloe, what are you talking about?"

"The Emily fiasco wasn't enough to deter Lex. He didn't shut down level 33.1. He just moved it."

"Do you think principal Reynolds...?"

"Could be. Listen, I've got to go. I'll be in touch later."

"Wait..." . But she already hung up.

Commercial Break!

Wow. Did Chloe actually just take off while Clark was trying to talk to her?

Yeah, and when he wanted to know the details about something Lori totally shut him down.

This must be the payback episode for Clark.

Karma can be a bitch.

Clark puts his phone away and is about to put his key into the lock but the door cracks open as he touches it.

Switch to a shot of the back of Asskick as he sifts through the draws of Clark's desk. He finds the weapon and takes it.

Clark cautiously opens his door and sees Asskick facing away from him, standing there holding the weapon at his side. It's dark so Clark can't tell who it is, "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to take what is rightfully mine."

Seeing he has the weapon, "I can't let you do that."

Asskick doesn't answer.

"Put the crystal down."

"I'm not here to harm you."

Slowly Clark puts down his backpack and closes his door. He goes into super speed mode in an attempt to tackle the the intruder but Asskick's body becomes transparent and Clark passes right through. Clark ends up crashing into his own desk, smashing it into pieces.

"You have much to answer for, Kryptonian."

He can change the frequency he exists in, can't he? He's a level 33.1 freak!

Erica, don't be ridiculous! Change frequencies? What kind of crack have you been smoking?

Clark turns onto his back and looks up at his adversary, "Principal Reynolds?"

Pointing the weapon, "I don't want to use the weapon against you, Kal-El. But I will if I must."

Coffee shop. Chloe slides into a booth across from Dr. O'Toole.

He slides a manila folder towards her.

She puts a tape recorder on the table.

"No tape."

"But..."

"Look, my ass is already enough on the line just coming to see you. If Mr. Luthor ever got a hold of that tape, and believe me he would, it wouldn't just be my job on the line. It could be my life."

Chloe frowns, "OK. I guess we'll just have to do it the old fashion way." She goes through her purse. "You have any note paper?"

O'Toole shakes his head.

Chloe pulls out her laptop. "Or the not so old fashion way as the case may be. So, tell me about level 33.1."

Back to Clark's dorm room. He warily stands up. Reynolds tells him, "You can trust me, Kal-El. We are on the same side."

Clark gets that concentrated look.

Reynolds aims the weapon again, "Your heat vision is no match for the weapon."

Clark tries to use super speed to grab the weapon but a bolt of energy hits his hand before he can reach it. He pulls away and holds his arm gingerly, surprised to actually feel pain.

"It's no use Kal-El. I can read your mind. I know your next move before you can even take it."

Clark looks towards his door.

Reynolds steps aside, "You are free to go. The weapon is what I came for."

"Who are you?"

"A friend. But more importantly, like you, I am a visitor here."

"You're Kryptonian?"

"No. Like the weapons I must recover I am Martian." Reynolds morphs into a green alien looking thing. In an alien like voice, "You may call me J'onn J'onzz."

Martian Manhunter! Cool!

"How did you know I had the weapon?"

He turns back into the guise of Reynolds. "Since they are activated telepathically I can sense when they are used. I recognized the wielder's thought patterns immediately."

"Chloe. Which lead you to me."

Asskick nods. "It's extremely important I recover the weapons. Do you have any idea where the second one is?"

"I know someone who might."

"Then give her a call."

How does he know it's a her?

Keep up, Annette. He's reading Clark's mind.

Cut to the jungles of Vancouver. Lex's party runs towards the temple from about 300 yards away. Lana falls back, unable to continue. Lex stops as well. He orders a couple of guards to stay behind with her.

It's because she's pregnant, isn't it?

Shut up, Erica!

She tripped.

Just wondering. Wouldn't that be cool?

No!

As Lex starts up again she calls out to to him, "Be careful."

Lex stops and turns to face her. The slightest smile, "I will."

Inside the temple Lionel places the crystal against the ship and a small opening appears. He smiles broadly and inserts the crystal. Kryptonian symbols glow along various parts of the ship projecting them against the walls. Lionel steps back to admire it.

The ship lifts off the ground and begins making a sound as if it's building up energy.

Lionel's smile fades. He reaches for the crystal but the ship has already risen too far off the ground. He backs up against the wall. As the ship emits a high pitched sound his expression of wonder turns into one of fear.

That would be concern, not fear. The MB does not experience fear.

We'll see about that. Especially when a two ton boulder is about to smash him like a bug.

That would be grave concern, not fear.

I suppose it's just a matter of semantics.

Clark's dorm room. He's on the phone.

"Look, Lois, its extremely important." Pause, "No, it doesn't have anything to do with...." We need to insert something funny here.

[irritated] Or stupid.

Funny and stupid. Another pause, "Just get here as soon as you can." He hangs up and looks at Reynolds nervously.

"Don't worry Kal-El. If you like I can re-suppress all those memories. She won't remember a thing."

Hesitant, "Thanks." After an awkward pause, "So you've been watching me this whole time?"

"Kryptonian's have a checkered past on Earth. At first I only checked on you periodically."

"At first?"

"Your parents were good people. You were an upstanding young man. In your early years constant contact was unnecessary."

"But?"

"You became close to Lex Luthor. I became concerned, concerned enough to move my base of operations to Smallville temporarily. It allowed me to keep a closer eye on you."

"And on Lex. You pre-judged him. Just like my father did."

"I do not make pre-judgements. I simply acknowledge his great potential, and yours, for greatness whether it be good or evil. Lex has taken many wrong turns but he can still chose either path."

"You don't seem to hold much hope."

"We are at our worst when we choose to focus on that which we don't have rather than what we do."

Suddenly sad, "Sounds like Lex in a nutshell."

"And at times you too, Kal-El."

Clark looks at the floor, embarrassed. He knows Reynolds is right.

That's a bit corny, don't you think?

Too corny?

Count yourself lucky. Tom wanted to add even more BS about focusing on what you can give, rather than what you can get.

I like that. I'm sure it was eloquent.

Thank you, Allison.

Sounds like you were pretty close to doing a re-interpretation of a "Christmas Carol".

Don't think I didn't consider it.

I put the kibosh on that one real quick.

Speak for yourself, Michael. I like a little saccharin on the show once in a while.

I was speaking for myself.

Cut to Lex and some extras in the temple. We hear a rumble and dust drifts down from the ceiling. Lex looks around frantically. He motions his men to follow him as he heads through one of the doorways Lionel passed through earlier.

Commercial Break!

Cut to Lana and her entourage just outside the temple. The temple shakes. We can hear the high pitched sound of the ship from outside.

Concerned, "Lex?"

Pieces of the temple come loose and fall to the ground.

Now shouting, "Lex?!?!"

Part of a wall crumbles and a green light emits from it. The sound of the ship is nearly deafening now. Lana heads towards the fallen wall.

The ship is now ten feet off the ground. She steps inside over the ruble, unable to take her eyes off the ship. "Oh my God."

More blocks fall as the ship comes up against the ceiling. Lionel spots Lana. "Lana, we've got to get out of here!"

He runs for her but several large pieces of rock fall in front of him, blocking his way. Lex and his men arrive on the opposite side of the room. Lex stares at the ship in wonder. Then he hears his dad shouting, "Get out! The temple is going to collapse!"

He looks across the room and sees Lionel, "Dad?"

But Lionel isn't looking at Lex. "Lana! Get out!"

Lex goes white. He follows his father's gaze to find Lana under the ship completely spellbound. Instead of running she's slowly walking farther into the room. "Lana! No!"

So now Lois and Lana are complete idiots?

Welcome to the club, Kristen. Allison, there's room for one more.

[Eyes MR & TW nervously] There better not be.

[devilish grin] The ship bumps up against the ceiling this time sending dozens of blocks to the floor. Lex tries to run into the room but one of his guards blocks him. "Sir, the building is coming down. We need to get you to safety.

Enraged, "Get away from me!" Lex throws the guard to the ground and runs for Lana.

Clark's dorm room. Reynolds is reminding Clark that he can read thoughts remotely but physical contact is required to access memories and re-suppress them.

Clark nods. There's a knock on the door. It's Lois.

"This better be good, Smallville. I was right in the middle of a great writing sess[ion]... principal Reynolds? What are you doing here? This isn't some sort of high school drop out intervention is it? I'll have you know I did pass my GED."

Clark gives Lois a scrutinizing stare.

"Without the help of anyone named Luthor."

You guys. Honestly, why is Lois always the butt of the joke?

Sit tight, Erica, we're just getting started.

I can hardly wait.

Reynolds cracks a smile. Clark says, "We need your help."

"For what? Did Asskick lose one of his students?"

Clark looks embarrassed.

Reynolds chimes in, "Don't worry Clark. I know about the nickname. I probably deserved it." To Lois, "I need to talk to you about your visions."

Confused, "So you've been Kal-El this whole time? You look a lot whiter in the picture."

My God, could you make Lois anymore of an idiot?

Tell me about it. Tom thinks it's funny but even I have a line I won't cross when it comes to degrading someone else's character.

What's the big deal? Lois is going to be fooled by a disguise consisting of a pair of eye glasses. You knew coming into this gig she's not too quick on the uptake.

Glasses are one thing but mistaking a picture of Clark for principal Reynolds? I don't care how fuzzy it is. It's ridiculous.

Maybe the contrast was all out of whack.

The contrast? Are you on crack? Lois would have to be completely blind to make that mistake.

She's color blind.

That is so not funny, Welling.

It's supposed to be a compliment.

You want to compliment Lois? Let her figure out it's Clark. You're going to mind whammie her anyway.

Lighten up Erica, it's funny, really.

So the next time Clark is written as the BDA you're going to think it's a barrel of laughs?

That's different.

[frustrated sigh] Right.

Clark seemed surprised.

Because Lois is so un-PC or because Lois is so stupid?

He already knows she's stupid.

And un-PC.

So why is Clark surprised, again?

He's surprised she has a picture of Kal-El.

How about if Reynolds responds that if she doesn't think he looks white she should see him dance?

You're going to get our show boycotted, people.

Calm down Allison. Clark seems curious, "Picture?"

Matter of fact to Clark, "Yeah, Chloe and I have a picture that Jimmy kid took of Kal-El a while back." To Reynolds, "She's been helping me track you down. She's gonna flip when she finds out Kal-El is actually her old high school principal! What a kick in the ass!"

[Shocked] Chloe's been what?

[MR holds his hand up indicating AM should calm down]

Shocked, Clark interjects, "Chloe's been what?" but Reynolds holds his hand up indicating Clark should calm down.

"I'm not Kal-El. I'm just a friend of his. Lois, memories have been planted into your subconscious, memories I must access." Reynolds puts his hands towards Lois' temples.

As if to prove she knows what's going on, "So the weapon doesn't fall into the wrong hands."

Reynolds nods.

Unsure, "Will it hurt?"

"No."

Lois looks to Clark for re-assurance and when he nods she calms down a bit. "OK."

Reynolds puts his hands on Lois' temples. Her eyes roll up in the back of her head and Clark catches her as she faints.

Clark looks expectantly at Reynolds.

"She's fine. We need to drop her off at her apartment. She'll be disoriented if she wakes here."

"Did you get I what we need?"

"Yes."

"And Lois?"

"I pushed the memories back into her subconscious. But..."

"But what?"

"We need to hurry. Lex is already there."

I can't believe you didn't let Lois in on the secret!

Yeah? Well check back with me when your character has been left in the dark for six years, OK?

Same here.

At least Lex learns the secret about once a season.

Accompanied by a massive mind whammie each time.

At least he doesn't have to die when he learns the secret.

At least Lana doesn't think the reason Clark can throw her thirty feet across the room is because he's been hypnotized.

Yeah? At least Lex doesn't seem to think coming back to life as a bad imitation of Wiley E. Coyote means you're perfectly normal.

I guess I should count my blessings after all, huh?

See? Being a stupid listless freeloader has its advantages.

The temple. As Lex runs for Lana a block falls pinning Lionel down.

Didn't we already do this once, ages ago?

Pretty much but we complicated the dilemma.

I hope so. Lex didn't even have someone else to save when he hesitated last time.

We're going to up the ante.

Good otherwise I'm just not seeing any real sense of jeopardy. It's like if a piece of pie and a bagel were both falling off the table. Which would Clark save first?

The pie, no question.

Exactly.

I don't get it.

Lionel is the bagel.

Lana is pie?

Right.

Is this a dirty joke going over my head? I can usually get a dirty joke.

We're saying that Lana is to Lex like pie is to Clark and Lionel is to Lex as a bagel is to Clark.

It's like a really stupid SAT question.

So now Clark hates bagels?

No!

Doesn't Lex hate Lionel?

It's a love hate relationship, very complex.

Clark and bagels doesn't really capture that. Does Clark have a back-story involving bagels I'm not aware of?

You know what? Forget the bagel analogy.

Commercial Break!

The thing is we put cream cheese on that bagel.

I thought you said forget that analogy.

Besides, bagel and cream cheese vs pie? Still no contest.

OK, forget the bagel. Forget the cream cheese. Both Lionel and Lana get pinned down and Lionel claims to have the weapon. Lex has to choose between Lana and the weapon.

So he really does have a tough decision.

I don't want Lana competing with the weapon.

Especially if looks like a huge glowing green dildo.

That's not funny,

Sure it is. It's hilarious. Lana wouldn't stand a chance.

Even if he does care more about the weapon he can always go back for it later. Who cares if Lionel is crushed like a grape?

Annette?! Really, was that necessary?

But the weapon could get crushed too or at least damaged beyond repair. There goes his last chance to defeat Kal-El.

Is that a risk he'll willing to take to save Lana?

Lex hesitates, pissing Lana off to no end, but he ends up helping her first anyway. He pulls her clear just as the temple collapses, burying Lionel underneath.

So we think. But Reynolds and Clark arrive on the scene first.

Clark hands Reynolds one of the black shards and rushes to protect Lionel as the temple collapses on him.

Cut to a shot just above the ship. The ornate box containing the weapon from Lois' vision lies on top among other ruble the ship took with it as it broke through the roof of the temple.

I thought the ship was frictionless.

Please stop thinking. You're going to mess up the whole plot.

I can't help it.

We can pretend the ship is frictionless only when at rest.

[Sarcastic] That makes a hell of a lot of sense. Just when it needs the least wind resistance it creates the most?

It's caught in a groove or something, OK? Does that make you happy?

No really.

Lex's goons are shooting at the ship using bullets infused with Lex's black gunk.

That sounds... kind of dirty.

The gunk that supposed to be similar to the black crystal.

Oh.

It doesn't do much damage but the gunk does eat away at the skin of the ship upon impact.

Reynolds throws the crystal shard.

When the shard makes impact the ship explodes with great fanfare.

Inside the ruble Lionel looks up to find Clark has prevented a huge stone from crushing him. But several smaller ones have seriously injured him. Straining, "Clark. Thank you, my boy."

Lionel passes out.

Reynolds becomes transparent and walks right through the debris. He stops next to Clark who is checking Lionel's pulse.

"He'll be OK until they find him. Did you find the weapon?"

"No."

Clark uses his x-ray vision but the weapon is nowhere to be seen. "It's not here. What do we do now?"

"We can only hope it was destroyed along with the ship. If anyone uses it I'll sense it telepathically. Same as before."

"How did you know it was Chloe the first time?"

"I recognized her thought patterns. The human mind is even more unique than the human face. Her mind is quite beautiful. I would recognize it anywhere."

[gushing] Aww.

Maybe Chloe will finally get her some alien lovin'.

Clark looks suspiciously at Reynolds.

Reynolds smiles knowingly, "There is no need for jelously, Clark. I'm not interested in your friend Chloe the way you suspect. Kryptonians find humans physically attractive and why not? Their appearances are quite similar. Martians on the other hand do not share the opinion." End the scene with a shot of the ornate box partially embedded into a far off hillside. It's top is damaged revealing the weapon inside.

Lionel unconscious in a hospital bed. Pull back to show Lex watching through the window.

Lana walks up and stands next to him. She's silent for a moment as they both look at his father.

Finally she turns towards Lex, "I talked to Mercy and everything is going according to plan. It's time to start selling off your LuthorCorp stock and buying up Omega-Tech."

Never taking his eyes off his father, "I'll call my broker in the morning."

Lana turns to look at Lionel again, "You thought he really did have the weapon?"

"I wasn't sure."

"Lex, I don't blame you for hesitating. Getting the weapon, that's what's important."

There is no way Lana would be that understanding!

Stay out of this, Allison.

No. That's completely out of character.

It kind of is.

We're not going to let a little hesitation break her up with Lex. Look at all the crap Clark drug her though and she stuck with him until he practically had to throw her off a bridge.

Yeah, but Clark had to pay for all those mistakes, big time.

That's what makes Clark a chump. Lex turns to face Lana and puts his hand on her arm and she turns to face him, "Don't say that Lana. We can always find another way to defeat Kal-El." He stokes her hair, "But there's no way I could replace you."

He could replace her with a naked exploding Lanabot.

Shut up, Allison!

Did you just hear Lana's dialogue? He already has.

Shut up!

Clark is not a chump. Lana nods and they hug.

His is and you know it. "But we need to find out how my father found the temple. Further interference is something we can't afford."

No Martha?

We didn't write any Martha?

Surely we did.

You didn't.

Well I'll be.

She should visit Lionel.

Clark needs to confront her about their relationship.

Clark has had enough confrontation this episode.

We could do the confrontation next episode.

No. We need a Martha scene, dammit!

We need a scene where Clark checks in with Chloe. You know, the obligatory loft scene.

He should have the obligatory loft scene with Lois.

With Lois? Why the hell should he have it with Lois?

Because he feels bad about giving her a mind whammie.

Why should he feel bad about that? Everybody's been through a mind whammie.

We do need a loft scene.

With Chloe.

No, with Lois.

Hello, how about the lady who didn't get a scene yet? Clark's mom.

Loft scenes with Clark's mom are just icky.

Stay out of it, Kristen!

Annette, why don't you just take a week off? Spend time with the family.

I don't know.

You'll get paid anyway.

Well.

I'll make sure you get double screen time next week. Lionel is going to be unconscious the whole episode so it's not like I can fight for scene time for myself.

Done.

Hey, maybe just when things look the worst for the old MB Martha will kiss him and that will bring him back from the brink of death.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

I think it's sweet.

As long as there's no crying it gets my thumbs up.

I might have to call in sick when it comes time to read next week's episode.

We can fax it to you.

You just don't get it, do you, Michael?

Oh, I get it, Tom. I just don't care. But Allison is right. We need a loft scene.

With Chloe.

With Lois!

I have an idea. I'll write a forth act scene for both, OK?

[Shrugs] OK.

I want to see it first.

No can do.

Tom, you'll look out for me here?

I'll make sure it's realistic.

That's not the same as looking out for me.

That's the best I can do.

[Sighs] OK. I'll take what I can get.

[The next day]

Here are our two "loft scenes". The one with Chloe goes right before the one in the hospital with Lex and Lana.

Meaning it's not really a loft scene.

And Lois' closes the episode.

Making it the real loft scene.

DP. Clark storms in as Chloe works at her computer. "How long have you been helping Lois?"

Not looking up because she's completely engrossed typing, "Hello to you too, Clark."

Clark bends down and swivels her chair so she's facing him. "I can't believe you've been helping her figure out who Kal-El is!"

Not taking it seriously, "Oh, that. I figured it was the best way to keep her off your trail." She tries to turn her chair back but Clark holds it in place.

"Chloe, she has Jimmy's picture! I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"That picture is the least of your worries Clark. The visions if anything are what you should worry about."

"It's too late for that."

Concerned, "Lois didn't actually figure it out, did she?"

"No. She thought Principal Reynolds was Kal-El."

Amused, "Really? Principal Reynolds?"

"The good news is we don't need to worry about her visions anymore. She doesn't remember them."

Confused, "How's that? It's all she's talked about the past two weeks."

Sheepish, "As I suspected Principal Reynolds isn't just your average guy. He helped re-suppressed those memories."

Angry, "What?!?"

"What's the big deal? It means my secret is safe."

"What's the big deal? Clark, you can't poke around in someone's head just because they know something you don't want them to!"

"Chloe, it's for her own good. It's dangerous for her to be digging into Kal-El. And you know it."

"You've got to let Lois make those choices for herself! I can't believe you would do that Clark! That's exactly what Lionel did to Lex!"

Offended, "It is not! Can't you see it's for the best? You know first hand how hard it is to keep my secret. I thought you would understand!"

"I don't understand how you can be so cavalier about your "pal" Principal Reynolds messing in Lois' head! Am I next, seeing as how "hard" it is to keep your secret?"

Stunned, "Chloe, never. How could you think that?"

"You did it to Lois! What makes me so different?"

"Chloe, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd feel this way." He puts his hand on her shoulder but she jerks away.

Not looking at him, "Clark, just get out."

"Look, Chloe, I'm sorry. I'd never..."

"Please. Just leave. I have work to do."

Clark frowns "We need to get rid of that picture Jimmy took, Chloe."

"Fuck you."

"You know I'm right." Clark exits.

We can't say that on TV.

I know but that's how I wanted the scene to go. I call it the HBO cut.

In the real cut Clark leaves after Chloe tells him she has work to do.

Why is Chloe so freaked out? It's just one more excuse to add friction.

Hello, Miss "I'm afraid I might go crazy"? The very idea that Clark would sanction messing in someone else's head freaks her out. It's her worst nightmare.

I thought going crazy was her worse nightmare.

She's afraid people messing with her mind could cause her to go crazy. Plus she thinks Clark would have done the same thing to her given the chance.

It was a pretty shitty thing to do to.

Not to mention the shittiest loft scene ever!

But finally the episode is as good as the trailer!

Stuff it, Rosenbaum. I take it back. I don't want a Chloe loft scene after all.

Allison, threre's no taking back a loft scene. Once it's out there it's out there. Besides, without Chloe's scene Lois' wouldn't make sense.

There's going to be a Lois scene that actually makes sense?

Real funny, Kristen. Real funny.

After the Lex & Lana scene cut to Lois' apartment. She's on the phone.

"I told you I could go toe to toe with Larry."

There's a knock. She heads for her door.

"I'm sure there's a compliment in there somewhere."

It's Clark. She motions him in.

"Almost done, I've been working on it all day. Look, I have a visitor, call you tomorrow?" she hangs up.

Inspecting a pile of papers on Lois' kitchen table. "How are you?"

"Busy."

"You OK?"

"Truth is I'm not sure. I've been a little off all afternoon. You ever feel like you've forgotten something really important?" Laughing it off, "I sound crazy, don't I?"

Concerned, "Not at all. What's this?"

Brightening, "This? Is my book!"

Dubious, "Book?"

I'm dubious too.

Excited, "Yes!"

Clark reads, "In the belly of the beast, by Lois Lane. The corrupt underside of America's most powerful corporation." Raising a eye brow, "Sounds like a good read."

"Tell that to Perry."

"The guy on the phone?"

"My editor. He says that thanks to me he's single handedly keeping the red ink people in business."

"He sounds pretty harsh."

Smiling, "He can be. But I've learned a lot from him."

"I'm sure your book is great despite any claims to the contrary."

"Well, even if it's a compete flop at least it feels good to get back to my roots."

"Your roots?"

"Do gooder." Lois explains she became one when her mom died of lung cancer. "It sent my relationship with my dad straight downhill. Do gooders don't fit in the army, not any good at taking orders."

"I can't imagine you were ever good at taking orders."

She claims she became everyone's nanny, attacking everything from smoking and drinking to fast driving and unprotected sex. "Basically I was out to ban everything short of rock and roll."

"The nanny part I can believe, but didn't you smoke when we first met?"

"I never was much good at practicing what I preached."

Kind of like Pa Kent?

"Maybe because you felt like you were the only person who didn't deserve being saved?"

Brushing it off, "Well, I'm not like that now. When doing what you think is right winds up hurting the ones you love the most it takes all the do gooder out of you."

This hits Clark close to home. After a pause "Do you want to talk about it?"

Brushing him off again, "Maybe someday. Right now I'm just looking out for numero uno."

"Like when you chose to quit your job so my mom could stay in the senate?"

"It gave me the opportunity to irritate the hell out of Lex Luthor. If that's not win-win I don't know what is."

Clark laughs. "You sure seem to still be your old self."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." He moves to leave. "If, um, if Chloe seems angry with me..."

Surprised, "With you, her hero?"

Breaking eye contact. "Just tell her I know I made the wrong choice. And I'm sorry."

"OK."

"See you in class tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Later, Smallville." She pauses, "Thanks for stopping by."

Still unable to face her, "Sure." He exits. She picks up the paper he read and smiles proudly to herself. Go to black

You were going to push Clark away from Chloe so he could confide in Lori! Now you're having him confide in Lois instead?

He'll probably end up confiding in both while Chloe is off in Star city humping Oliver.

Must you be so crude?

Sorry. "Making love".

She doesn't even love him!

Thus humping.

Shut up, Michael, just shut up.

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