A "Restrained" Brainstorm

Original TwoP air date 9.10.06

OK. Are you ready to hear my ideas for "Restrained"?

Yeah! I'm so excited. I have some great ideas too. But you go first.

First off did you ask Michael if he had a copy of Brokeback Mountain?

Yeah.

And he asked why you needed it, right?

Actually I think he said something like "What the hell do you think, Durance?"

But you told him why you wanted it right?

Yeah, I told him you and I wanted it for background research on our "Restrained" script.

Did he piss his pants?

[Pulling out her phone] Not quite. But I got it all on camera phone. [Shows the screen to AM]

[recorded voice] Tell Allison if she wants to take this road then fishnets are just the beginning. She's playing with fire. Fire I tell you!

[Stifles a laugh]

Wait here's the best part.

[recorded voice] Ow!

[Both AM & ED giggle] He was so riled up he forgot he'd closed the door to his trailer!

Good work! So are we ready?

Sure.

Right. How about this: Chloe's mom left because she caught Gabe and Lex, um, you know, riding Brokeback, one day when she came home from work early. Gabe cut off the relationship to try and get her back. That's when Lex started making Gabe clones. She went to Lex to confirm the relationship was over and found him in bed with three copies of Gabe. That's when she went crazy.

Wasn't Chloe like five when her mom left?

Yeah, I think so.

That would make Lex what? Twelve tops. You're not seriously considering turning Gabe into a pedophile just to make Lex look bad are you?

Twelve huh? I guess that isn't such a good idea after all, is it?

Not so much.

Well, scratch my second idea too then.

Why?

That one started with Chloe's mom leaving because she and Lex were having an affair.

[Frowns] Not so good either.

I didn't think about the fact Lex would have been so young then. [Pounds her fist on the table] Dammit!

Well how about this...

Wait! I've got a couple more.

[Reluctant] OK...

Lex was fiddling with some crazy Kryptonite experiment. It went haywire as usual and ended up making Chloe's mom crazy.

Lex couldn't have been more than eighteen when Chloe's mom goes crazy. He was doing stupid college stuff back then.

It could have happened.

Look Allison, do you have any ideas where it's not Lex's fault?

Um. No.

I don't think we can make it Lex's fault.

What if he went back in time!

Stop.

A wormhole or something...

Stop!

OK, OK. You're right. So we can't make Lex complicit. Instead we've got to figure out a way to make him look like an idiot.

Allison?

What?

Let it go, OK? So he found a way to make you wear fishnets in a stupid promo shoot. So what? You looked great in them.

[Smiling] I did, didn't I?

Smoking. Didn't somebody say looking good is the best revenge?

I think that was 'living well'.

Whatever. Looking good has got to be a close second. Besides, I've got a couple ideas for how to get Lex naked. And even if getting him naked isn't the "best" kind of revenge it will still be a hell of a lot of fun!

[Excited] Really? Clark too?

I'm not sure about getting Clark naked but they'll both be up to their nipples in HoYay.

[Claps her hands and bounces up and down in her seat excitedly] Yay! Lay it on me!

OK. It all starts with Lex taking a shower. Lana just kicked his ass at fencing, delivered him an ultimatum and stormed off. He's loosening his tight muscles in the luxurious feel of the steaming water when suddenly he notices...

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