Meanwhile...

By Bill C

[BB's office. BB is sitting at his desk, furiously typing on a laptop. RB is pacing the floor in front of the desk.]

[typing] "...and we firmly believe that this does not constitute a copyright violation. We would like to point out"--okay, does "point out" work?

Why do I feel so tired?

[stops typing] Hey, Rick, focus. Do we go with "We would like to point out," or should we use more emphasis?

What? Oh....that sounds fine, man.

Okay, good. [resumes typing] "In fact, we suggest that Mr. Moore has in fact plagiarized ideas and tenets from--"

[stops pacing] OW! Dammit! [rubs the small of his back]

You okay?

[grumbles] Yeah, yeah...just sore. [stretches] I think it was the floor.

[stops typing and yawns] Damn...we both had that weird catnap...

That lasted five hours!

...and I still feel kind of groggy. Is it because I fell out of my chair? RB [shrugs, resumes pacing]: I don't know. I'm a little woozy, myself.

I had one strange dream, though. I dreamt that I was back on the Voyager set, and I was making out with Jeri in the captain's chair--

Again?

Yeah, but wait. It got strange, see?

Do I really want to hear this, Brannon?

Not strange like that. See, I was making out with Jeri...and of course she was in the blue catsuit, right? Only halfway through she turned into Allison!

[stops pacing] Allison?

[nods] Yeah! And I start making out with Allison, right, and she's whispering stuff to me like "You want to give Chloe a good story. You know you want to." [RB looks askance at BB]

You're kidding, right?

Nope. What pissed me off is that I had the catsuit unzipped and was almost to second base with her and then Jeri--er, Allison gets up and leaves! And all she said was--

[distractedly] "Now remember what I said, okay, honey?"

[surprised] ...that's it, that's what she said. How did you know?

[sits down heavily in a chair in front of BB's desk] This is going to sound strange...but that's the last thing I heard in my dream.

Really?

Yeah. See, I was Keanu Reeves in Speed...on the bus...

Okay...

...barreling down the PCH...only instead of Sandra Bullock I was there with Elizabeth Hurley. And then...

And then what?

[looks puzzled] And then...she turned into Allison.

The hell?

Yeah! So we're hauling ass down the PCH, cars are flying and blowing up all over the place, and I'm yelling at her to keep the bus above 55 and she's yelling back stuff like "No fishnets! No fishnets for Chloe!"

[confused] No...fishnets?

Yeah, "no fishnets." And she also said...what was it...she said something about "wanting to screw him over." She said that a couple of times.

Wait...I think she said that in my dream, too.

This is weird, Brannon. We both dreamed about Allison?

Well, she is cute and all...actually, she looked really hot in the catsuit...but yeah. Weird.

You'd think it'd be Erica in the catsuit, though.

Yeah. We've been working way too hard.

Amen to that. [BB types for a while in silence]

Okay, Rick...I think I've got the letter finished.

Print out a couple of copies. If we go forward with this, we'll need to FedEx them to the lawyers.

Yeah, I was thinking about all this. I'm thinking we should go ahead with the mind-whammy.

Uh huh. But who gets whammied? Lex or Chloe?

[looks up from laptop] Go for broke. We whammy both of 'em.

Seriously?

Yup.

Okay, and how do we make that happen?

Virtual reality! RB [after a long pause]: You want to stick them in the Matrix.

Well, okay, not quite. But we could, say, imprint some sort of intelligence in both their brains that manifests as a manipulative, seductive Lex...and a manipulative, seductive Chloe!

Riiiiight...okay, so we could have Lex in the white suit for the girls...

Or perhaps just running around shirtless in a gladiator outfit or something...

...and Chloe in fishnets for the rest of the audience. I like it.

Since you mentioned it a minute ago--could we get away with Lois in fishnets instead of Chloe? I mean...hey...it's Lois...

[thinks] Yeah...but it'd still be far more unexpected if it was Chloe.

Good point. [reaches into a desk drawer, pulls out a small sandwich bag with a brownie in it] Time for lunch...

Ah, dammit! You have one left!

Damn straight! These are good brownies!

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