Welcome Back

[AG and MM enter the dark and quiet CV studio.]

You sure you got the right time?

Yeah.

And they all wanted to see us?

Yeah. Probably to iron out ground rules for the rest of the season.

[Approaching a door] Maybe they're just late.

[AG opens the door and ushers in AG who hits the light.]

Cast: Surprise!

[MR cues the The Welcome Back Kotter Theme on karaoke machine. They sing to a stunned AG and MM]

Welcome back!

, , & : We used to dream of day you'd walk out.

Welcome back!

It's something we used to laugh about.

Not a name has changed since you hung around.

But the dreams don't remain. We were beaten down.

Who'd have thought we'd need ya?

, , & : Who'd have thought we'd need ya?

We can't believe we need ya!

, , & : We can't believe we need ya!

Yeah we tease them a lot cause we've got them on the spot, welcome back! All: Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back!

[Producer offices. RB & BB on video conference with DO]

DO: I suppose you want to know why I called.

[CV studios: MR switches to "Open Arms" by Journey. He walks up between AG & MM and puts his arms around both their shoulders]

Standing beside you/ Here on the set/ Together after such a long time

Sometimes we fought

Sometimes we cried

This time we'll try to be kind

We sailed on together/ We drifted apart

And here you are By our side

Cast: So now we come to you/ With open arms/ Nothing to hide/ Believe what we say/ So here we are/ With open arms/ Hoping you'll see/ This was all meant to be/ Open arms

[Puts her hand to her heart] Working without you/ Working alone/ This empty set seemed so cold

[Takes AG's hand] Wanting to see you [Rubs MM chest] Wanting you near/ How much we wanted you home

But now that you've come back [Gestures grandly] Turned night into day

We need you to stay

Cast: So now we come to you/ With open arms/ Nothing to hide/ Believe what we say/ So here we are/ With open arms/ Hoping you'll see/ This was all meant to be/ Open arms

[Producer offices]

DO: You're being replaced.

You can't do that!

Ron's lawsuit is bullshit! He copied us!

[CV studios: MR switches to "I Feel Good" by James Brown]

I feel good [Picks up a boa and puts it over Al's neck]

& : [Dancing] Na na na na na

I knew that I would, now

& : Na na na na na

I feel good

& : Na na na na na

I knew that I would, now

& : Na na na na na

, , & : So good, so good

I got you!

& : Dum, dum, dum dum!

Whoa!

I feel nice, [Switches to put the boa MM's neck]

& : [Dancing] Na na na na na

like sugar and spice

& : Na na na na na

I feel nice

& : Na na na na na

like sugar and spice

& : Na na na na na

, , & : So nice, so nice

I got you

Whoa!

[Producer offices]

DO: A major lawsuit in the first few weeks of your tenure is just the tip of the iceberg, boys.

What?

DO: The screw ups Al and Miles took years to do took you just weeks!

[CV studios: MR switches to "Reunited " by Peaches And Herb]

Reunited and it feels so good

Reunited 'cause we understood

[Squeezes in between AG & MM and takes them both by the arm. TW takes AG's other arm. MR takes MM's.] There's one perfect fit

& & : And for sure this one is it!/ We're all so excited 'cause we're reunited

, & : Hey, hey!

[Clapping] Welcome back, guys! [Cast cheers and claps. AoT throws a few handfuls of confetti. JG and AM hum on kazoos.]

[Producer offices]

DO: High quantities of banned tranquilizers gone missing...

But...

DO: Reports of the cast assaulting each other...

Now wait a second...

DO: Members of the press being drugged!

None of that is our fault!

DO: But keeping those misfits in line is your job. You did it miserably. You're out. Goodbye gentlemen.

[CV studios]

[Switches the music to C+C Music Factory's Everybody Dance Now. He tuns on a spotlight which illuminates a disco ball and switches the lights back off.]

[Popping open a champagne bottle] Let's PARTY!

C+C Music Factory: Everybody dance now!

[ED hands one of two full champagne glasses to AG. She takes his hand and drags him into the center of the room and starts dancing. AG shelf consciously sways to the music, hands in pockets.]

C+C Music Factory: Everybody dance now!

[AM weaves through with a tray full of appetizers. AoT pulls MM to the center of the room and the two of them start dancing. JG surupticiously pours something from a flask into the punch bowl.]

C+C Music Factory: Give me the music!

[TW is dancing alone slightly better than Clark in Spell. When AM comes by he picks up a cheese topped Triscuit.]

You don't want one of those.

[TW reaches for a stuffed mushroom]

[Shakes her head] uh-uh.

[TW gives AM a WTF look]

C+C Music Factory: Give me the music!

[Sweet smile]

[Glances at over at MR's plate] How come Michael gets to eat the stuffed mushrooms!?!

[Irritated] Shh!

I can't believe you!

[Smiling sweetly again] Try the chocolate covered strawberries.

C+C Music Factory: Everybody dance now!

[Takes a strawberry] This can only end badly. You know that don't you?

[Winks as she walks off] I wouldn't have it any other way!

[The rest of the cast has gathered around to watch AG & MM do the "Robot". They clap and cheer.]

[Walking over to join TW] Mushroom?

Um, no thanks.

C+C Music Factory: Everybody dance now!

[presenting the appetizer tray to AG] Try the mushrooms. I made them myself.

[In robot mode] I don't mind if I do!

[To TW] I guess everything is finally back to normal, huh?

[Smiles and pats MR on the back.] Yeah, I guess so.

[TW spots AM and JG dancing together and catches her eye. He smiles and shakes his head. She puts her index finger to her lips and smiles back deviously. ED starts up a dance train.]

[Throws back what was left of his champagne and belches loudly. He smacks his lips together a few times and then grabs TW around the shoulder.] Come on Tom, it's time to hit the dance floor! Better hurry, you don't want to be the one who gets stuck behind Al on the train!

C+C Music Factory: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Running] I call Kristen!

Don't bet on it! [The race to the dance floor only to find Al at the end of the train behind Kristen] Dammit!

Dammit, Al! Watch those hands!

[Feigned innocence] Oh, sorry.

[Shouting ahead at AM] Allison, you owe me for this, Big time!

[Shouting back] Tell me something I don't know!

C+C Music Factory: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Producer offices. BB & RB pack up. The muffled sound of C+C Music Factory leaks in from below.]

[Angry] No, you put too much faith in Michael!

I said we can't trust him farther than we can throw him.

What gets me is Michael seemed so hyped about the Cylon arc!

What could they have possibly offered to make him switch sides?

And team up with Allison? It boggles the mind. BR: Well, lets get out while the getting is good.

You know...

I know that look, Brannon, and I don't like it.

Just once more before we leave, for old time sake.

But...

It'll be fun.

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