Interview

Hey guys, guess what?

Thanks to a brilliant stroke of luck I had the chance to sit down with the entire CV cast and conduct an extremely rare group interview.

Cool, huh?

Here's what they had to say

jwm: In quite an unprecedented move the WB, now CW announced they had shuttered the entire writing staff and placed that responsibility on your shoulders. Did you guys know about this before hand?

I think it was as much a surprise to us as it was to anyone. I mean we had no idea!

Oh, I knew.

You knew?

Certainly. Tom knew as well.

Tom?!?

jwm: So I guess it was on a "need to know" basis?

[squirming] You could say that.

jwm: [To TW] If you don't mind my asking, how did you find out?

Actually we probably better not...

I'll tell you how I found out! I was in L.A. on an off week looking for some side work. I'd just finished an audition. Guest role on ER as I recall. They never called me back. Bastards. [To Annette] They'll hire Sam but apparently I'm not good enough for them. [Back to jwm] Anyway, I had some time to kill and so I figured I'd just drop by the writer's studio and, you know, say hi. Maybe drop an idea or two in their ear. I'll never forget it. I'm walking down the hall and I hear this yelling.

That's probably enough, John.

I'm just getting to the good part.

I just think, you know, that's enough.

It's a funny story. Can I tell it? Do you mind?

[Sighs and looks down] Fine.

So I hear this yelling, right? And I turn the corner and there's Holly Harold!

She was one of the writers last year.

Right, right! And so there's Holly Harold cursing like a sailor! Can you imagine? And Al and Miles, bless their little hearts, are just taking it. You know? Because I guess they've just fired her.

Or told her Lexmas was complete crap.

Or both maybe. But what are they going to do? Call security? They need to leave the woman a hint of dignity.

John...

Hold on Tom. I'm almost finished. So she tells them to mark her words: the show is going to go down in flames without professional writers! And she turns around and heads towards me like a bull in a China shop! And of course I don't know what's going on and she comes up to me and says she hopes I get what I want. I tried to tell her all I wanted was a one episode gig with ER as a suicide bomber, but see, she will hear nothing of it. She tells me that writing for Smallville is a lot harder than it looks.

For her, maybe.

[Points at MR and chuckles] That's exactly what I thought. But of course I didn't say it. I said something like "I'm sure it is." I can't remember exactly. And so the cat's basically out of the bag at this point, right? Al doesn't want to say anything but Miles is kissing my ass like never before because he doesn't want the rest of the staff or cast to know yet, right? [Chuckles] I tell you, that was one hell of a year end bonus. I was able to...

jwm: I'm sure it was very nice Mr. Glover. If you don't mind I'd like to move on so the rest of the cast might have a chance to speak?

Sure fine. Perfectly fine. [Stews silently]

jwm: So you guys have finished writing what, nineteen episodes now?

[Laughs] I don't know, I've lost count!

Episode nineteen is being written now.

It's done.

No it's not.

Eighteen scripts are in the can. But individually it's been a lot fewer. Each episode is written by two cast members. Then the rest of the cast reviews it.

[Folding her arms] But aren't allowed to make any changes.

[Eyeing AM] Unless they are really sneaky.

Suggestions are taken and then the assigned writing team makes any changes they think are appropriate.

jwm: Why only two?

It's the whole decision by committee syndrome. Not only does it take forever to make a decision you end up with a product that doesn't piss off anyone and yet really doesn't please anyone either.

So in their infinite wisdom Al and Miles decided that at least four people should be pleased. The two of them and the writers of the individual episode.

Or sometimes just Al and Miles.

jwm: But now that Al and Miles have left the two writers have complete control? They could have Clark to go on a shooting rampage through Metropolis? There's nothing Tom can do to nix it?

It used to be that way when Al and Miles had final script approval.

When they left we decided a super majority should be able to over turn any specific decision by the writers.

The cast hasn't vetoed anything yet though.

[with a hint of irritation] The writers have been pretty careful to make sure they have at least one other person to back them up.

jwm: So if three of you wanted Clark to, you know, kill a bunch of innocent people Tom couldn't do anything about it?

That's correct.

Or we could not have him appear in an episode at all.

jwm: Wow. So how did you guys split the episodes amongst yourselves?

[Looks at TW] Yeah, why don't you explain that?

Annette is still a little sore she ended up with the fewest episodes.

Right, uh, well, how did we do it again?

You remember perfectly well, Tom.

Here's how we did it. Tom, Michael and I were having lunch. They had brought in these exquisite...

Would you let someone else get a word in edgewise, John?

[Gesturing] Fine, fine. Just trying to put things into proper context.

We broke it down by lead. First lead, second lead, etc. So Tom writes the most episodes.

Me the fewest. Tom got more than three times as many episodes as I did! But what I don't get is somehow John ended up with more than me and we have about the same amount of screen time.

Now hold on...

Wasn't that a management decision? If they went strictly by screen time they were afraid it would skew too female?

So Al and Miles threw the guys a couple extra episodes to even things out.

Thank God.

I'm kind of irked because the counts were made assuming I'd only be in thirteen episodes.

jwm: But you, and John, were eventually hired on for the full twenty two episode slate this year.

Exactly!

That's how they figured mine too, Erica.

Actually the cast assumed they'd both be in all the episodes going in.

Then Erica and I should have had the same number of episodes!

Does that mean it's thanks to Al and Miles that I had fewer episodes than Allison?

I thought I got more episodes than you because of seniority.

Then I should have had more episodes than Erica!

[whispering into JG's ear] She's always had more screen time than you, John.

She has? I guess I'd know that if I watched the show.

[rolling her eyes] Or would read the whole script.

Don't start, Allison.

Anyway, once we broke down the number of episodes for each cast member we just tried to match them up with episodes somehow pivotal for his

or her

character.

jwm: I see. There's been some media speculation Michael and Allison don't share writing credits because they don't get along. Any truth to that?

Are you kidding? [pats AM on the knee] I have nothing but love for Allison!

jwm: Allison?

[Faint smile aimed at MR] Our feelings toward each other are mutual.

jwm: So is a back-stage romance in bloom?

[snickers as jwm's comment] Hardly. Our "love" is definitely of the sibling variety.

Oh definitely. [turns to TW] Oh, crap! Are we allowed to let out that spoiler? [TW rolls his eyes]

jwm: Spoiler? Do you mind clarifying that?

No comment.

jwm: Speaking of spoilers I've heard rumors we'll be seeing at least two more DC characters this season, Green Arrow and Lori Lemaris.

[silence]

jwm: Any truth to those rumors?

Yeah, you'll see them but we can't give away any details.

jwm: So speculation that Chloe hooks up with Oliver Queen is pre-mature?

[smiles] You'll just have to see.

jwm: You've already filmed a couple of episodes and pictures of Clark and Chloe kissing have already leaked out onto the Internet. So that kiss in Vessel was the real thing huh?

Well I don't know if it was the real thing.

jwm: Do the two of them end up hooking up?

They give it an honest try but outside forces seem to pull them back apart. [Turns to TW] Was it OK to say that?

[shakes his head]

jwm: Sounds a bit like what happens with Clark and Lana in the prior five seasons.

Yeah. How about that?

jwm: Is it Lori who ends up breaking Chloe and Clark's nascent romance?

Actually it's Oliver. [TW elbows MR] Ow.

jwm: Oliver? Oliver Queen?

[Glances at TW] No comment.

jwm: Have you casted Oliver or Lori?

No.

jwm: Who would you like?

Sting!

jwm: The wrestler?

No, no. The singer.

jwm: He's a bit old for Chloe, don't you think?

Preach it!

He'd be perfect.

jwm: And Lori?

We're just looking now. There's no preferred candidate.

Tom wants Kandyse McClure who works right across town but he doesn't want his wife to know he has any favorites.

[gives MR an "I'm going to kill you look"]

[Back peddling] He doesn't have the hots for her or anything. He just admires her body of work.

Her body of work?

[gulps] I'm going to shut up now.

And if Tom gets Kandyse for Lori I'd want Jamie Bamber for Green Arrow.

He really doesn't have time to do anything more than a cameo.

Not to mention our name is mud over there right now.

Erica!

jwm: Mud? Where? At the BSG location? Did something happen?

Are you kidding?

It's nothing. Really.

That's not what I heard.

Annette stop it.

I want another episode.

You know we can't.

I want another episode!

jwm: Annette, do you care to elaborate?

I'll think about it.

jwm: This question is for Erica. There's a significant number of fans who feel your character's development has been at best a mixed bag the past two years. There's almost a sense that no matter what Lois does this year it's going to be too little too late. What would you say to those fans?

Too little to late?

[worried] Erica.

Are these the same fans who say I look too old for the part?

jwm: I would have no way of knowing.

I bet they are!

[Tugs on ED's sleeve. ED pulls her arm away] Erica.

You bet I have something to say!

Erica.

They can fuck the hell off!

Erica!

[Looks a Tom and pauses a second.] Actually, I'd just ask them to give us a chance and watch where we take Lois this year. I think they'll be pleasantly surprised. If not they're certainly entitled to their own opinion.

jwm: So can I assume Lois is going to dip her toe into the world of journalism?

I can't really give any details but her life is going to be a bit like a roller coaster this year. As Chloe puts it she's going to be working "in the belly of the beast" and it's going to teach her some hard lessons.

jwm: So she's not going to be working for a newspaper?

It's not like we'd have her writing crap for the Inquisitor or light switch her into the Planet. So if that's what you had in mind, no.

jwm: And Michael, last year Lex was finally putting the moves on Lana. What's in store for Lex this year?

[smacking his hands together] Oh, he's totally going to hit that!

Michael!

Plus this year Lex is finally going to kick ass and take names. Best year ever for him. Ever!

jwm: And of course Tom. Your character is the reason most people tune in every week. What's in store for the future man of steel?

He, uh, has a rough year. It's a year he really has to re-evaluate his relationships with everyone in his life.

jwm: Isn't that something he basically has done every previous year?

With Lana at least.

The difference is that the scales are finally coming off his eyes so to speak. He's finally starting to see all his peers as they really are, Lex, Lana, Chloe, Lois, all of them. And the great thing about Superman is that even though he knows Lex is up to all this bad stuff he still really cares about Lex and holds out hope of redemption.

jwm: Sounds like co-dependency. A lot of people call that a disease, not a virtue.

[smiles to TW] I think that's supposed to mean you're my battered lover.

[blushing] I think that's an important message though, that Superman can see the good in anyone, even Lex.

[punches TW on the arm] You old softie!

But it's not just that. He's also working to get his life back on track. At the end of last season everything was a real mess. He's picking up the pieces and moving on.

jwm: Towards his destiny?

We hate that word around here.

jwm: Sorry. Well thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedules.

Hey no problem! [shakes jwm's hand]

[shakes jwm's hand] Yeah, good luck on, what is it you write again?

jwm: [nervous] I didn't say.

Well good luck at whatever it is.

[hands jwm her card] Give me a call. I'll give you the down low on BSG. [scurries off before TW hears her]

jwm: [extending hand to JG] Thanks so much! I'm a big fan.

[refuses jwm's hand] Nobody cuts me off. Understand?

jwm: [gulps] Um, yes sir.

[Pointing to the exit] Now get out!

Cut it out, John. Don't mind him, underneath he's a just a big teddy bear. [whispers in jwm's ear] But working with Michael is hell. [pulls back and shakes jwm's hand] That's off the record of course.

jwm: I'll keep it... to myself.

Working on this show period is hell. And that's on the record.

jwm: [Shakes KK's hand] OK. Thanks.

[jwm exits]

[Looking around frantically] Hey, has anyone seen my brownies?

Yeah, they were right over there. Well I'll be. They're gone?

Oh jeez, Allison.

I was on my way to throw out my last batch when Tom called me in for the interview.

Well maybe housecleaning picked them up and threw them away.

[glances towards the studio exit] You don't think?

Whistles as he walks off.

Glover!

[outside jwm lays on the ground next to a small plate of AM's brownies. AM and MR stand above frowning]

You know we could get sued for this!

Shut up and help drag!

Where are we headed?

I don't know. The dumpster?

Previous (Brownie Wars) Next (Escalation)